It seems like you're assuming you were abused because it seems like a reasonable explanation for things, but you really don't know. It's too elaborate to fabricate from sheer imagination. You dad probably abused you and Even if you don't know for sure you should find out! Should I just tell him that what he's doing is making me uncomfortable? See, I am 14 years old and recently, my breasts have really developped. This doesn't have to be abuse. See, this is going to be long and I'd appreciate it if you'd be kind and thoughtful as I am truly confused and concerned right now. My brother is holding the camera. Shut up! But I had never had anything like that happen before. I agree with the people who said it's about preference. You know that it could just be a hormonal change in you that makes you uncomfortable to be touched or hugged. What you're doing to your father and yourself is terrible and I can't imagine how much it hurts him. Okay' well it started when I was 13 I was really a very horny hormonal child. Help us keep this site organized and clean. “‘I don’t want to have sex, you’re gross’ (while touching me). It is society's fault really, so don't feel bad. In the black community its the thing to do to give a brotha some dap (fist bump for those of you who dont know) or to embrace, and i know that its not the only culture but i hate it. Ok go To a Person you Trust with it and get help. I, too, had that uncomfortable feeling that there was something sexual about the way my father related to me, although I had no evidence to back it up and I convinced myself I was just imagining things. It has nothing to do with being American, you ignorant assholes. i let my dad touch me in the calculator, but when he found out that i didn't have one, he went for Jaqueline instead. Also, lately, I have woken up in the night and he's been standing over my bed. A couple of years ago he was very drunk and rubbing my shoulder and back and I just felt very creeped out. like... why do you have to touch me? No one has to appreciate contact. I said okay because I was groggy from lack of sleep. This isn't an isolated incident. So much that I've been avoiding him. Poor guy, i wish my children won't become like you. Careful with does "nightmares" of yours. We're a physical family; we hug and we kiss on the cheek and my dad and I punch each other in the arm playfully. It is a shame that that is what this world has come to, but it is what it is. I learned that having boundaries is not being tolerated. my dad is really my step dad but has been in my life since i was 2. Any who , i wanted to share that recently my step father has been touching me. He is very sexual.. makes out with my mother on the couch while I am there, and I have to excuse myself. Good Luck! I feel like he makes excuses so he can look at my legs. My whole life my mom has had a problem with looking the other way when my father does something he shouldn't. He only touched me, and it was only one time, but It made me feel so bad that I couldn't stand him. Just say it, STOP TOUCHING ME. What I'm trying to figure out is what I should do. Or am I overreacting? It took us about half an hour to find the right tree. He looked really hurt so I felt bad. It's hot outside And I feel uncomfortable just to wear a bathing suit or shorts in front my dad... My dad loves me a lot I know he'd never do anything !! In fact I feel horribly uncomfortable when he does and just want to get away. I looked for similar posts and they were in this sub but if it is better suited for another let me know and I'll post there, instead. It realloy irritates my barber but i dont CARE. It's everywhere. Good Luck! Both my parents still often dismiss my opinions as "childish naivety." And I rolled over belly up and took off my pants. That is no way for a father to be acting towards his daughter and you need to relay that message. you really have to be easy in your father !!! He's usually extremely nice and caring towards me, and I try to appreciate it. Like... go find somebody in a bad mood and hug them. I have a new puppy and when I wake up he starts petting the puppy and saying he doesn't want to give it attention while his dog is around as not to make her jealous but it just feels... weird. And no, people don't get to molest you because they let you move back in. Here’s a photo of my mom, dad and me. But I don't know if it was just a bad dream or not. He will compliment my body by saying things such as I am 'glowing..' and would wink at me (even if i told him please don't) I found myself growing uncomfortable and distant, perhaps I had been overreacting, but I have a bubble between myself and other people. ( I know I already posted it but I need more answers) My dad ( Step-Dad ) Touched me a few months back. You aren't overreacting. I also feel like my dad might think i hate him too, but i don't. Kids now are highly precocious. "Somehow" abused? This is a place where you can ask for advice on many subjects. What triggered this post was that he's been doing this thing where he'll sit next to me on the couch and he'll punch my thigh and then just leave his hand there. What does that even mean? He and my mom are really close. He's obviously pushing his limits and it's gross, New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Is this normal? When we touched casually, I overreacted and move away from him. Please talk to your mom about this as soon as possible and make it very clear to your dad that he's making you uncomfortable and he has no right to touch you like that, especially before things have a change to escalate. He loves me? I listened to this kind of crap forever because I couldn't figure out why I felt weird. I told my boyfriend at the time about it and he said that he thought my dad had molested me when I was little. In fact I'll probably regret it so much when he dies. Dear Stop It Now!, My husband sometimes touches our 3 and 6 year old daughters in ways that I find mildly inappropriate - e.g. ‘Josh, you’re so cute,’ (my name is not Josh). You may find out things that you don't want to know, but you need to know the truth in order to move forward with your life. That level of detachment only occurs when abuse is so severe that the brain can't comprehend it. I don't like to be touched by my dad either but that's because we aren't close. Have a friend comming with you someone who is at your Side no matter what. A hypnotist might be able to help as well. But from reading what the poster said she was probably abused by him and it was covered up. If I am out on a night and another guy slaps me on the back as a greeting or a girl I know gives me a hug as a greeting then fine. They just want to help, but the suggestion of something under hypnosis can make it VERY real to the patient. And I am the same that I can not have my mum or dad touch me in any way. Because if it was very young then why were you having dreams involving sexual activity? I like my dad a lot, we aren't that close or anything, (It's like that with my mom, too) and lately he comes into my room while I'm laying on my floor watching Tv, and he lays his head on my bottom, and makes a joke about it. Since I was feeling like this issue wasn't valid I hadn't taken this step, yet, but now I will. But I'm almost convinced it was a nightmare. I'm this way too! I feel like there must be some connection though. Your family should be ashamed of themselves for Turning blind eye to this. I don't even know why! I am not close to my dad and he used to be rediculously heavy handed and i will THROW UP if he tries to hug me...gack. ****I KNOW ITS LONG BUT PLEASE READ !!! I get uncomfortable when girls I don't know touch my arms or hands overly long. pulling down the 3 year-old's pants so we can see her bottom, or caressing her bottom when she just needs help pulling down her night-time diaper to use the toilet in the morning; or holding the 6 year-old across his lap in an armchair and … So I’m just laying on my phone and hear a lot of weird sleep comments. I never like my parents to touch me either. TRUST ME, I KNOW! It may be unpleasant, but the doctor can help you come to terms about it. Thank you! And they've developped pretty recently, over a few months. My dad was the source of all this. Take care, babe id its really freaking you out maybe you should go she a what it called, one of them doctors to help you understand about your emotions and stuff... Not meaning it in mean way but maybe for the best to go see one x, You just sound like a paranoid american who thinks everybody wants to harm them. Make sure if its your mom that She is definately on your Side and Not on your fathers. He looked really hurt so I felt bad. But we dismissed it, I was mortified, then we never spoke about it again because I was convinced it was a nightmare and got embarrassed for ever bringing it up. I was 4 or 5. For me it depends on where they touch. my step father came in and sat next to me… That doesn't happen for no reason. The only thing that bugs me about when my dad hugs me is that he doesn't realize how strong he is, and he nearly winds me XD. Sounds like maybe you were "abused" as a very young child, and have been suppressing it. We're a physical family; we hug and we kiss on the cheek and my dad and I punch each other in the arm playfully. His hands don't belong on your thighs, either. Reading this post was unsettlingly like looking in a mirror. on my 11th birthday after my big birthday party i went to my room to go to sleep. he really seems nice to you !!!!! You are a grown woman and it's time to stand up for yourself. TELL her what has been going on and you want this shit to stop. if he was beating you when you were younger it's really normal because he thought that he was teaching you.........when i was young my father used to beat me too but i never put this in mind you will regret all of this when you grow up take it easy before it's too late, Uh-oh, sounds like someone has repressed daddy issues! but it could be something else too! Author has 505 answers and 310.1K answer views. One day when I was sleeping my dad came in the room and woke me up. Of course I feel bad! Most of them were too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, etc. I never know which version I'm gonna get. he's been a great father and i doubt he'll ever do anything to me or he even thinks of me like that but I don't know i did catch him looking at me and its been bothering me ever since. I find it especially annoying with people you see all the damn time. My mom was raped by her dad ever since she was born till high school. I'm fairly certain that I just slept in bed with them because I had nightmares but it seems a little odd that he would ask me not to tell if there was nothing to hide. You will, if you don't stop. It sounds like he sexually abused you, not just beat you. There is no scientific evidence at all that repressed memories are even a real thing. She can't help the way she feels, so you shouldn't judge her for it. Even though i know he put me through hell, i keep falling for the traps. It may not have been by your father, but since he is an adult and a man, you may be transferring your emotions and feelings onto him. First of all, I apologize if there is a more fitting subreddit for this. I felt REPULSED by him. I don't know if you suffered any abuse or not, I don't think with the information there is enough evidence. It gets kinda annoying as well when I'm doing work and he calls me over just to tell me … I think you should see a therapist and do regression therapy or hypnosis. Yes, i agree. Thanks. Your feelings are totally valid. We have made it so that any contact an older male has with a younger girl is taboo. It's just the way I am. Here's the situation: I'm a 27 year old female and I just moved back in with my parents while I finish my degree. Should I talk to my mom about it? And I'm pretty handy; I'll just go ahead and put a lock on my door. I live alone with my dad ,,,, Just want to know opinions if this is normal or not. Not so with older folks, they are less likely to pick up that this sort of thing makes me uncomfortable, and when they do they try to make me feel guilty about it. Before I get to that, I wanted to share with you a tradition my family has every year… A few days ago we went to go cut down a christmas tree. It’s good to know I’m not the only one. I live with my dad and we barely interact because i try avoid him must as possible. Where the hell is your mother in all this? I really need some advice as I have no one I can talk to about this I just want to know if it’s normal to feel this way? There isn't anything wrong with a little father and daughter/son bonding; as long as he doesn't touch you in those places that you don't want to be touched. You are perfectly normal, I actually know of a lot of fathers who are the reverse and get dirty looks when they hug their own daughters. This guy jim just got married to my aunt and he is very creepy. It really is like an earlier person said, it is a paranoid American thing. Be calm. He is a great man a would never do anything to hurt me. I did this to TheChickan once and he got really mad and said "What are you doing". He does it a lot - pretty much everyday. It's not a good investigative tool, but it's great for polishing after your done. Why do I feel uncomfortable around my dad? In fact I feel horribly uncomfortable when he does and just want to get away. You would have all kinds of other problems if that were the case. ***** Okay well for starters , im 12 years old. CALCULATORS FTW! I'm sorry, but I think you were abused by your father. I'm 15, and for as long as I've known, I have never felt comfortable around my dad. My dad spanked me when I was a kid. My close friends just deal with it but woe be unto the person who tries to push my out of my comfort zone... Now its different if its someone that i have not seen in a while or if its a happy moment but otherwise... go away. He said that my mother told him he needed to check my personal area. Why do I feel uncomfortable when my dad says? I'm probably delusional and taking it out on my poor father. You need to prepare yourself that it is entirely possible that you were molested. Am I crazy? I feel like, as a a capable adult he should be taking the hint that I'm not comfortable with what he's doing. I was also beaten as a child occasionally. Frightening. It's easy- "Dad you are freaking me out. How long ago did you start having this reoccuring memory that you think was a nightmare? Keep your hands to yourself" or just tell him to stop bothering you that you would like your privacy. Standing idly by? It made me feel awful, but, like the sexual contact with my father, it made me feel wonderful, too. Don't feel sorry for him, he's sick. I always wear layers and now that it's summer i've been wearing … IDK but I feel uncomfortable with strangers touching me without a reason for doing so. Should I move out? Forgive me if i'm wrong but surely a child who hasn't been subjected to these things shouldn't be aware of them to be capable of having dreams involving anything of the like? too often. But Be prepered. if he beat you... call the fucking cops dumbass. My entire side of my dad’s family is in the church from my grandmother to my youngest uncle, who is only 6 years older than I. Some are making me uncomfortable.” He provided some examples of whats she said. Hypnosis can also be used to erase the bad nightmare memories. In fact, studies have shown that hypnotists usually cause the "repressed memories" in the first place. My father is having an extramarital affair. It depends what you mean by beat you my mum use to break wooden spoons on me use canes ,foot wear, jug cords just about anything she could lay her hands on to get to hit me. Also, there have been several times that he has said things along the lines that my butt looks good in the jeans I'm wearing but will bring it back around to say something like "That's why I married your mom." I was feeling guilty for being so angry about this. I don't remember my dad ever touching me inappropriately, but I do have a distant memory of him smothering me with a pillow and beating me when I was a child. There's been a "family bed" stigma since the 90s,thats probably what he was referring to. My parents never taught me how to talk to people, find my passion, forge my own path, place myself in the world, etc. I know how they are, and most of them are MEMORIES that you are suppressing. He not only confuses the hell out of me but I feel scared and uncomfortable around him. EDIT: I really appreciate all of your input. You definitely need to investigate further, but be prepared for what might come out. When my father touches me I feel weird. It was sort of weird for me .. My mom does that too … You don't know what I know, and I'm sorry if my english it's bad, I guess I didn't make myself clear. I will address this right away. it makes me feel uncomfortable. Since it's how it's always been it's hard to judge what's normal and I really appreciate all of you validating how I feel. Turns out, nothing happened to me. For as long as I could remember I hated for my dad to touch me in any way. Honey, if you don't remember it, it probably didn't happen. They generally know what sex is and the basics of how it works by second grade. Also, he did discipline me (beat me for misbehaving) when I was younger, but I don't understand why I am so averse to him making contact with me or calling me pet names. It is perfectly normal in fact. If you think something may have happened and you are trying to block the memory out then you really should approach a professional to help you work through this. And I just feel really uncomfortable and feel awkward saying 'I love you too.' Part of me wants to end my relationship with him for cheating on my mom, but i worry that he will be depressed as he loves me … Press J to jump to the feed. you can have sexual dreams from very early actually study's have found that fetus will sometimes masturbate. That boyfriend was literally mentally unstable and trying to drive me and my father apart but it still always stuck with me (by comparison there were other things he had said that were easy to discard). Get one of those rubber door jams to put under your bedroom door if you can't lock it at night. They are normal sized, I guess you can say. Stop dwelling on it. Why do I feel uncomfortable around my dad sometimes? It would be very apparent to everyone that something is wrong. It wasn't until I had cut myself off from my dad and he was shot and killed that I found that out. No hugs no kiss. Talk to your mum about it one on one and get her thoughts. It makes me really uncomfortable, but every time I try to leave he pulls me back and in a joking manner says, "No, just stay..." It makes me really uncomfortable … Ultimately, though, I'm not trying to ask you guys if I was molested or not; that's a question for a therapist. It would make sense why you don't want to touch him. This all started when i caught my dad looking at my breasts and legs while we were talking late at night in the kitchen. What triggered this post was that he's been doing this thing where he'll sit next to me on the couch and he'll punch my thigh and then just leave his hand there. Also, he did discipline me (beat me for misbehaving) when I … I feel like if I told someone they'd just say I dreamed it. I had sexual dream a lot as a young child (5-6 years old) and it was partially due to media exposure, and my parents were very strict about media. I actually dont care for hugging etc. Please see a therapist and get away from them! I don't hug or kiss either of my parents, and dislike much contact with any adults, I was never touched as a child so it's not abuse; it's preference.
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