Joe was going to die. Please report issues with ATC to our team, by submitting a Zendesk ticket, include as much information as possible with steps to reproduce and any screenshots. One particular conversation had me in stitches for hours afterwards. @atcmemesofficial Radarcontact.com ✈️#squawkdirtytome #controlfreq #airtrafficcontrol #flying #pilot #airlines #airlines #airport #aviator #aviation #flightattendant ... Covid-19 will limit aviation's growth for 10 years, new data shows. Why? i looked these guys up and gave them a try. I am grateful for these ATC and aviation quotes and stories sent to me by various people. You turned right on Delta! He said, "Ask him where his plane is.") Ultimately, the controller was able to explain what a ‘flight of two” meant, and adjusted the pilot’s flight plan. I typically recommend Browns to my friends when they're looking for independent auto services (over a dealership)." It was a great heart as you can see I am still alive almost 11 years after the operation. There two reporting points: Initial - which is generally a position entering the traffic pattern and lined up with the runway - and Break - which is the point over the approach end of the runway at which the pilot begins a descending 360-degree turn back to the final approach course. Over." What does ATC stand for in Transmission? Please keep them coming. Flight manual limits maximum fuel imbalance to 300lbs. exostosis Bony growth benign arising from the surface of bone.surgical puncture to remove uid from the abdomen abdominoSocial capital is dramatically declining and has been over the past several decades.Valley feverEmail this page to a friendShare on facebookShare on twitterBookmark SharePrinterfriendly version Valley fever is an infection that occurs when the … Callsign A: "Roger out.". They asked the question, “What’s the funniest thing you have ever heard over the radio?”  The thread highlights miscommunications and jokes between pilots and air traffic control that might leave you wondering how safe you really are in the air. Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers. First aircraft in the line (gave callsign): "I did not say FUCK." One such morning following a heavy night for one particular instructor, not long after the flight was aloft, the following was heard over the air: "Boy, am I ever f...ed up this morning." ), A few years ago at our Air Traffic Centre we received warning that an undisclosed number of US Air Force B2 Bombers would be crossing our FIR [Flight Information Region] at a particular time on a particular day. (Ack A & M Martin). On take-off he noticed a guard standing in what looked like a refrigator box. Is my transmission still fuzzy? An F-4 with a Colonel at the stick was entering the tower pattern at Osan AB, Korea, and wanted priority landing because of his rank and position. I was a weather guy in the USAF during the late 80s-early 90s, and while I was stationed at RAF Woodbridge in England I often hung out with a controller in the tower cab just above our office. The pilot responded (while laughing) "No thanks, we'll file a flight plan.." From Dr Hugh David, June 2007 - Some years ago I was checking the record of simulated air-ground communication in a Real-Time simulation at the Eurocontrol Experimental Centre. Helping to keep the lights … London relayed the question to an Air France flight near Bristol and got the reply: "Ve are at fifteen thousand, in and out the bottom." The ATC said it was the darndest thing he ever saw. With the the guard behind him my instructer goosed the throtles - which sent the guard head over heels for about 20 yards... From Rich, November 2007 (non-atc folk might want to read the technical explanation first) - This allegedly did happen although I wasn't on duty during the shift, so I can't verify it. ***** Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7" Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. Acknowledgements to Rich.). ET: "Yes Joe you need to push it forward... (pause)... What does your airspeed indicator read now?" Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid! he said on local VHF as he started his takeoff run. However we felt that this was not a good idea because of the land traffic wanting to get a glimpse of Clinton, and we so we should use the General Airport instead. In this case it was a near full tank to get there and would allow for a straight in approach. Controller: Negative, you are in a busy airspace right now. A local hero there and an all round good egg, Tom, in the tower one day received a call from the electrical guys on their way to do their daily checks. Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces 200 feet per minute descent. From DG, Feb 2008 - At the initial pilot training bases for the military, the landing pattern tends to get packed (sometimes up to 12-15 airplanes for one runway) and some of those planes are being flown by students solo (yes, a $4m piece of tax-payer money being hurled around a strip of concrete at speeds of 200 knots by a 23-year-old kid fresh out of college with less than 30 hours of flying experience). Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,... and I didn't land. Penzance tower (in a broad Scottish accent): "G123, Penzance tower welcome to my airspace, sadly we are not accepting your class, divert on heading and contact approach on Lands End." Now you've screwed everything up! Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once? "That's affirmative USAFB2," said Eric, "I'm shittin' you. On arrival, we found the target completely obscured in fog and had to return home. Due to take off from JFK New York one morning in our Qantas 707 we were about eighth of fifteen aircraft in line. Fudpucker World Airlines (whose business I am not entirely sure of) and associated merchandise apparently date back to the 1970s (thanks D Kennedy). It was about 7:30 pm local time. Under the sudden change of direction Andy noted the groans from the Anson's airframe, and also from the Air Commodes in the back. I am a little to the left of the centre-line. The somewhat relaxed pilot asked, “Say buddy am I pointing in the right direction for Seletar?...". ATC:  “Delta 324, are you listening to me?”, Pilot: “Yes ma’am, we hear you.” [IFF = Identification, Friend or Foe.]. Common BMW Transmission Problems Transmission Mechatronic Sleeve I did not know what to do. GC: "Ach, these French actors, they marry and unmarry, I cannot keep track!" We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace. Anyway, I was sitting a watch in the controlling tower for the runway on a particularly busy day, when one of my buddies from my class, who was flying solo at the time, pipped in with a PIREP (pilot report) for the pattern: Solo: "This is Solo 72, there is some turbulence at point initial." This fellow shared a story with me that he claimed happened to him personally. Unfortunately, because I was very busy eating and the food was extremely hot, I became very distracted, and after hearing the call I replied to the pilot unintentionally "GOOD MORNING SIR". Since our plane doesn’t come standard with rear view mirrors, could you keep us apprised? 2 9/11 air traffic control recordings - audio Recordings of the emergency calls to air traffic control have been released in the run-up to the … The morale of the tale - always look out the window when reporting the local weather - never use the Berlin Times printed the day before. You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! Especially when busy. Controller: I've got you on radar, state your intentions. The aircraft landed safely with the passengers' hair standing on end. The tactic is not necessarily transferable everywhere, but offers the idea that sometimes a bit of humour and creativity can be a very effective intervention in changing behaviour and reconditioning attitudes: While stationed with the USMC (United States Marine Corps) at Cherry Point, North Carolina, back in the the 1960s, I worked in a Headquarters Squadron that had three C-117s (a military version of the DC-3). Airline Pilot Central central forum highlights some of the most hilarious interactions overheard by other pilots on the frequency. Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Send your contribution. Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English." He transmitted to the tower in a level friendly voice: "Ladies and gentleman. Callsign B: "I am in the Hat Dich area, I say again, Hat Dich area. This is not an attempt to present a factually reliable or accurate listing of these alleged quotes, if one ever existed at all - it's just a list of the funniest examples. Say again location. At the time the transmission was made, there was an 800 foot ceiling (of cloud) with 2 miles visability in a light mist. My dad was sat waiting for take-off clearance when he heard the exchange pilot, somewhere, request a 'bearing' from the ATC (air traffic controller). Oakland ARTCC controller: "I don't know. Mayday. All rebuilt ATS high performance transmissions include the following features: The 'dog' was a 2000 lb, bull moose. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?" Realising the fuel gauges needles were all on empty he slammed the throttle and pulled the Anson round hard. We did so, and I got to the airport and the hospital on time. In this great little clip, an SR-71 pilot tells a story about flying around the Western United States to build up crew hours when small plane pilots started calling into … You retain ownership of the original material, assuming it's yours in the first place. [not firing properly presumably]. BA: "Yes, we did. (So the plane was now in a stall I thought.) The JFK ATC allowed a B737 on a local flight to take a short-cut and start his takeoff run by joining the main runway from a taxiway causing us to wait for him to take off and clear. The use of this material is free for self-development, developing others, research, and organizational improvement. UA: "I'm in the plane!" Mickey landed safely to tell the tale. Due to the nature of these stories, flight terminology below may not always be technically correct, and may also be edited or explained in parts for the benefit of non-aviation folk. Over." The private pilot got a little nervous because the military plane was closer than normal, and asked the tower to find out the intentions of the C-5. (Ack Mike), In 1958, I was bouncing down the runway trying to land in a big cross-wind when the instructor said "I trust we will be landing soon, because my medical permit expires next Tuesday." The approach end of the runway is the end that is most nearly aligned to the wind direction and indicates the direction of arrival and departure. Pilot: Can I fly around in circles Sir? A few moments later a cocky voice came on: Mooney M20: Ground Control, What's MY airspeed? For that crew at least, the point was made. Finally the pilot said, "I see some lights over there." If you’ve got the balls you've got the permission." As our unit had particularly strong radio equipment we were often tasked to listen in on different networks in order to back up the ground or air crews experiencing communications difficulties due to any number of reasons. Thanks. I strongly suggest diverting to Lands End airfield." I was told this story by an air traffic controller from his time at a joint military/civilian airport. Nos 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage. Engine found on starboard [right] wing after brief search. The control said "(acft call sign), since you can't follow ATC instructions, hold 5 miles north of the airport. I overheard this amusing exchange while waiting for passengers to board my island-hopper, July 2010, Penzance field, UK.. (Ack 'a former ATC'), A newly promoted Military Liaison Officer was standing the morning watch at Oakland ARTCC. Inspired designs on t-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more by independent artists and designers from around the world. Not wanting to appear ignorant, the MLO granted the request. Continue this story on the next page! Meanwhile, a Turkish airline pilot contacted our tower and said, "GOOD EVENING Suli Tower". In 1978 I was a trainee Air Traffic Controller under supervision at Collage Station Texas, Easterwood Tower. The reply from the aircraft was, "Roger Tower, we're number 5 and will report a departure end break." Please provide details of how you'd like to be attributed on this page (e.g., name and title, or just initials, whatever) and a little background about the story, and briefly explain any complex jargon/abbreviations. There is just my plane, with two people inside.”. If you have an entertaining or amusing story from the world of flying and air traffic communications, please send it. Serving truck enthusiasts for nearly two decades, ATS invents, designs, manufactures, and sells the world's most innovative diesel truck performance products - over 600 products for one-stop shopping. Before the tower could reply, a voice came over the radio as the C-5's nose cargo doors opened, saying, "I'm going to eat you." He is scanning the runway with binoculars and tells the local controller that he has a 'dog' on the runway. We have digital watches! UA: "This is Joe" ET: "This is Easterwood Tower, where are you?" It'll take forever to sort this out! They would check in with us as they entered our airspace and check out again as they left. Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war. (This was just after his California fiasco with his 400 dollar haircut.) Chorus of passengers "Hey, you forgot the beer!" I looked to the senior controller. So they never turned on the radio circuit breakers. We're so confident of that, all ATS transmissions are backed by the only 5-year, 500,000 mile warranty in the industry. There is certainly justification for fun, humour, firmness, and 'banter' in organizational communications, although good teamwork and relationships and quality can be undermined if messages/responses cause upset or confusion. [atc]’s Premium Automatic Transmission Service with full synthetic ATF prevents deposit formation, restores performance, and prolongs the life of your transmission. No other attribution unfortunately but here it is. German Controller "AF302 Roger. Engine fire. This is a true story of a radio discussion one afternoon: Unknown Aircraft: "Hello?.." But unfortunately we continually had many flights cancelled because of reports that the radios didn't work. This happened at the small but busy Sarasota Florida airport in 1975. So, flight planned, he checked the weather report, which indicated slight change of fog, and set off. Due to the nature of these stories, flight terminology below may not always be technically correct, and may also be edited or explained in parts for the benefit of non-aviation folk. As Andy approached Berlin airspace he could see fog but no airfield. A few seconds later Tom receives another call, "Tower, Electric One. asks XYZ12. Stop right there. The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Tom advises, "XYZ12 hold for the moment, the runway will be available in 10 minutes, as previously advised." From Mitch Reilly, May 2007 - I was listening to the radio, doing a preflight at MSP and heard the following exchange... My co-pilot did not hear it and gave me a strange look when I was doubled-over laughing. The notes of the juncture this way continuing with the for example: mvw needle this way reflexively reach with the left hand abr after the tourniquet. At the halfway mark the F-4 went vertically up until he reached 14,000ft, then levelled off. My cabin windows are tinted. Pilot: Ok then, I'll fly around in straight lines. ET: "Who is this?" The ATC said we could not land because President Clinton was there and the secret service would not let us land. ET: "Joe, where is your plane?" IE: Break midfield (the middle of the runway) or Break Departure End (the departure end of the runway ). Please provide details of how you'd like to be attributed.). If you find this sort of material useful for learning, training, public speaking, etc., or simply for personal amusement, you might also enjoy the legendary funny letters to the council quotes. Pilot: "Cessna 761 Uniform Alpha cleared for takeoff, is rolling." If you are not going to flush the whole system but only drain the oil pan, you need about 4.5 qt of oil. Get the crash crew out." “Tree” for instance, means three, “fife” is the … ", From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!" Please keep them coming. A few moments of radio silence passed, and in the calmest voice imaginable the co-pilot keyed in: SR-71: Ground Control, What's our airspeed? Thank you. I think they thought about the bad publicity and said that they would hold him up and let us land, and they would escort us to the hospital. Tom replies "Electric One, Tower. UA: "He got out when the engine quit.." (I could only imagine a bizarre scenario in which the pilot had jumped from the plane.) The earliest reference I have seen for at least some of these quotes is the seemingly now defunct spoof 'Fudpucker World Airlines', dating back to June 1996 (thanks Scott). There are two of us in here.”, TMB ATC: “N234, ‘a flight of two’ means there are two aircraft.”, TMB ATC: “N234, ‘a flight of two’ means there are two aircraft and one pilot is talking for both aircraft.”, N234: “No. When and if I have more detail I will post it here. No joke, all the comments were clearly detailed in the pilot's log. i left the car with them for … Mayday. He was overflying Aden, and saw an Aeroflot freighter climbing out. After signing off about fifty gripes by saying "no problem found", I did something one day that cured the problem.. Discrimination, prejudice, xenophobia, arrogance, bullying, racism, sexism, ageism, etc., should not be permitted or tolerated or encouraged in organizational communications - whether in messages between staff, or from staff to consumers/customers. This is a transcript of the radio transmission between the air traffic control tower and planes in the Buffalo area, including Flight 3407, which crashed into a home, killing 50 people. If I can't hold this asymmetric we're going in. The pilot went on and on about fighting the Fokkers when the teacher interrupted and told the class that the Fokker was a model of German fighter. Archived LiveATC Recordings These recordings have been captured from a variety of sources, primarily LiveATC audio streams. Tower Controller: "BA356, proceed to stand 69" BA: "Yes, Sir, Nose in or Nose out?" The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. I can't vouch 100% for the authenticity of this tale, but the guy was generally believable... Also, a detail or two might be blurred by my own faulty memory over the past 15-20 years, but here it goes: My friend says he was training an ATC rookie - I think he said it was out at Nellis AFB. (Thanks M Savage, former USMC Sergeant and later a long-time commercial pilot and flight instructor - 24 Sep 2010). Over." )From Andrew Walker, May 2007 - A friend of the family used to fly for US Air, and told us this tale of how one day his plane was one of many trying to land at a busy airport. I overheard this over the radio while on my cross-country flight today. ... (long pause) ... GC: "AF302 continue descent as planned." After taking a while to respond to his request, the controller replied that “his tongue stopped working because he drank too much coffee.” Probably not the most comforting thing to hear an air traffic controller say. ), Funny quotes, motivational maxims, principles and rules, for training, writing, speeches, love and work, Funny signs, funny quotes, and graffiti from bars, public toilets, washrooms and restrooms, Parkinson's Law - Cyril Northcote Parkinson, Funny letters to Islington Council's housing department, Funny reasons for transport requests to the clinic, the 'rocks in a bucket' time management story, this fine story, in the longer stories section below, Send your ATC/aviation stories and funny quotes, Next: Murphy's Plough - positive thinking story. @atcmemesofficial Radarcontact.com ✈️#squawkdirtytome #controlfreq #controller #pilot #aviation #aviators #aircraft #flightattendant #flying #flight #pilotlife #planes ... Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on Linked InShare by Email. Boeing aircraft had a warning horn for major problems that you can test. Various origins are suggested for these funny quotes, most popularly Qantas and the US Air Force, and more specifically Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University (thanks J Williams). Engine run for three hours. If - the inspirational poem by Rudyard Kipling, Murphy's Plough - positive thinking story, Free Posters - motivational, inspirational, funny, Free Posters page 2 - inspirational quotes, Universal love poem - (send it to someone you love), Desiderata - inspirational poem and history, One evening during the Month of Ramathan (Ramazan) where most Muslims fast during the day, I was about to start eating and drinking. UA: "It's still zero." Seeing what he thought was a short pause coming in crossing operations, he told the crew to "Be ready and spool 'em up!" Disclaimer: Reliance on this material and any related provision is at your sole risk. This guy still takes flak over that one, even though he deserved a save for catching it before the rest of us did. Th next time I had a flight there, I called the range up and asked them what the weather was. A few seconds later we heard a voice on our VHF: "How do you like them apples?.. After a silence of about fifteen seconds the chastened National pilot came back: "Sarasota tower this is National Airlines flight 123 from Tampa and we are exactley 10.3 DME on the 300 degree radial inbound for landing.." The controller switched the lights back on and cleared the pilot to land. The controller then said something to the effect of, "Sir, the use of profane language is prohibited on this channel by FAA and FCC regulations. We were eager for dinner as we had not eaten during the day. Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!" Andy was flying from England, and as fuel was limited to the exact gallon, he made a careful note of the fuel required. Execjet 703: It’s not the size that counts! Hold." No2 propeller seepage normal. The engineer's corrective action on the reply form stated "Put pilot on fat boy program..." From E Haigh, Mar 2008 - I thought I'd let you know about a time when I was up in the air doing aeros (aerobatics) and turning back into circuit as one of my other friends was coming into land... On contact with the runway the friend's plane veered off to the left and crashed, narrowly avoiding a large very deep pond, just to the left of the runway on the taxi hold point. "Electric One, Tower. ), One very stormy morning in BOS, many planes were lined up on taxiways waiting for departure. (I looked down the flight line, checking if someone was sitting in a parked plane playing with the radio. (Ack E Pisor), The Stapleton runways were so close together that aircraft on parallel runways had to see each other and provide visual separation before Control could issue an approach clearance. Shortly after VE day (Victory in Europe, 8 May 1945) he was instructed to fly some high ranking officials, including many officers of Air Commode (Commodore) rank, and various other 'shinies' of brigadier and above, to the KG200 airfield at Gatow (Berlin). The controller was trying to deliver a clearance that was mostly "cleared as filed" but with one change at the departure and arrival airport. The air traffic control radio waves can be hectic at times, and New York’s JFK Airport has more than its fair share of interesting ATC recordings. Some instructor also flying in the pattern: "It's called wake turbulence." UA: (Long pause) "Zero?" Upon approaching the border of Germany he radioed to the airfield met office and asked for the weather report. Being the then famous new 'Stealth' bombers we would know little about it but they would pay us the courtesy of letting us know they were there. Ground Control: 240 at FL 240. I was working local control for the runway 25's at LAX one afternoon and a pilot reported a 'flock of seagulls' on final approach. (Ack E Scharzmann), A story from the late 1950's Navy flight training at Corpus Christi, Texas. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. "Mumbai, what number am I in the landing sequence?" Tower: Traffic at your 6 o’clock, 2 miles, same altitude, closing slowly.Pilot: Roger.
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